Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish I could go back to my

Younger self and yell at her, “Don’t hold back”

Rip onto those son of bitches who try to intimidate and stomp your dreams. Bitch smack the mother fuckers who wants to make you feel small or stupid because they want your vagina on their dick and make you think that they are smart and better Beat the shit out of the ass fuck disrepectful Toejams that use your intelligence as their own.

Be confident in your place. In your body. In your mind. Be real and fierce
I’d tell her, you are too good for this world so rebuild a new world, mother, creator of armies and civilizations

Don’t hide your sword in your panties

Take it out and hold it high above your head

But she wouldn’t listen
She’d call me fat and walk on to the next party, flops flipping and laughter on her lips

My Husband is time

My husband is a not real
He is my fantasy.
I made this world
In a sweet slumber
after drinking the last
of summer’s rations
Where I am loved so well
And kissed so tenderly
With the scent of cardamom and orange
his touch of warmth and electricity
He is a God with a magic penis
That can stop time and suspend gravity

Some strange luck loops
Has stopped war and given

me this dream life and his to share

I am day dreaming girl
sleeping in a dirt tent

if you find me
do not wake me

there are dark shadows
in my world.
I am fighting in a war
on the wrong side of a line

With a broken foot and a belly wound

I don’t make it out of here alive
this dream is all I’ll know of time or love

Drop dirt or petals if you must

Hopeful

We could not teach you love.

We tried but you broke us

We could not make our value stick

You had no way, Dead Boy
What hell or fucked fit frothed you mind

To such shame and depravity?

***
Let me give a little advice for anyone who’s mind fucks them to kill innocent people. Don’t listen. I’m glad I could cure that up for you.

Trust me.
It’s easier not to do
something than doing it.

None of your people think you, Dead Boys, are awesome. The people think the worst of you
You always go after innocence, beautiful little childern with big smiles, stunning women with long legs and good hard working fathers wearing blue jeans. It’s never some wacko sick son of bitch that deserves it

It has no honor. Only agony and disgust deep down thick puking repulsion so hard the people are hopeful for hell and to be there to see you in it

Years in other

I didn’t realize how sexist I was

Until recently

I thought I was radical. And maybe I was

After all I wore a blazer and read Virginia Wolf and smoked hand rolled cigarettes

While speaking metered stoicism

Hunched in hall ways where I leaned in

Whispering self agency

While all along believing

Male ment strength.

And only some women were strong

It was nature I said

I didn’t believe
all women are strong
as Fuck

An Eagle

Stopped by and rested on the great silver maple in the backyard.

Next to it was a dead bird.

It came to see the pups chase rabbits. Life is war for the rabbits but for the eagle

It’s a sky dance and meat snacks

“You’ll have to let a dream die to achieve another,” says the eagle. I nod.

The crows are mad. They cry and swoop about. But the Eagle doesn’t care. The pups are too stupid to look up.

I stand with a pitch fork, guarding the pups

The eagle swoops up and goes to the neighbors massive pine

To eat the heart of the dead bird

To eat the heart of a dead dream

Someday I

 


What day is it?
I’ve been trapped 
on this plant forever. 
The sun rises and sets. 
I am still here. 
I could jump. 
I don’t know if I will survive. 
There is blue water
and the shore is not too far off. 
I’m pretty sure I could swim it. 
If I didn’t get hurt too bad on the fall. 
It’s a long fall to you 
And I don’t know if you will 
let me stay when I get to you. 
You might lock me out. 
I have food. I have shelter. 
I could make a parachute. 
But I’d have to cut down this plant though, 
the thing that sustains me. 
Here I have a nice little nest made of leaves. 
I have blankets of braided orchids 
and the fruit from the plant to eat. 
The seeds have proteins and fats. 
The fireflies come and dance in the evening. 
It is peaceful. It is beautiful. The sea calls though. 
The shore is long and behind it is a forest. 
Thick trees trunks wider than my reach.
Wider than ten of me. 
There is a world that I do not know

that you are in. 
I see the smoke from your fire
and flick of light in the dying day 
I dream someday our lands will meet 
Someday I may warm myself by your side

 

Raining Ice Again

You have been in your head too much
this doesn’t work for you
You are a doer. You must stay busy and engaged
Right now, you are not. You are tired and in pain
Your mouth is dry, your skin is dry. It is cold outside
…You’re an idiot.
I’m bored of this already
This needs to be erased
I need to go for a walk

Off a cliff. dive into a dream of cold water
I want summer in Lake Superior
I want her freedom
Her sweet clean air

It is winter. White and dirty and grey
I slept like shit again last night.
My neck hurts. Blah
That is what I feel like
Blah
Blah blah blah
I am wasting my living
Here
Far away
I am giving it all, for what I can’t grass anymore