A Damning or Blessing

20161215_110125You fight and kill at each others’
freedoms and limbs cuz the anger
tricks you to whip and slave
To nazi and to Jew
To rock over the bus and light it
on fire before you climb out, dear you
I have watched from inside the house
humming and singing as the pie bakes, the meat roasts kissing fat babies and embracing your existence living in a dream world full of coffee and poetry, painting and folding clothes, living a fantasy of soft fluffy puppies and beautiful cloths drape around my fat and happy body

But you are so busy destroying
Yourselves that you don’t realize
You are building a wall of dead bodies around yourself

You have imprisoned yourselves with your lifeless families

Willingly you take your clothes off and fold them in a neat pile
put your gold in the heap and sit
in the poisonous gas of your putrefaction, meditating
The great experiment has begun and you hurry to see how fast you can kill yourselves

The speed you do it is hard to keep up with

Damn it -throw down the gun from her temple
Lady liberty  was given to you on the day you were born

And now you can’t wait to grab her by the pussy
lock her to the pillars of your bed
rape her and then burn her down And well her blood is coming from her whatever
It is all over you -Sticky and hot
you can’t move in the vicious thick stink
Ive seen the plains in a nightmare
Dropping bombs on the prairie and flash the shore for
Each night I vision of your war
You kill for coin lust
in the morning
I cradle your babies, dead
And rotten, I sing lullabies to your young covered in blood,
sand slips and slides, so do you child
climb into the camel’s eye and hide
sand slips and slides to the other side

The shadows come and whisper in my ear
and show me the horrors you commit
In the name of thirst and hunger

They give me the spoon and force
me to stir the generations of
Broken bodies so I can read
the signs until now, now I’ve learned to stoically
love war and peace, the swing up and the fall down
The faster it be done I cry as the warning call.
I scream until I’m hoarse slinging my spoon
Faster and stronger, to see your future self doom human

The outsiders looking down have come to eat
Limb by foot and finger, ass and cunt they eat
You pray out but the gods have abandoned
you with a bet with the devils

They have bet against you
They have grown tired of your abuse
Dived into the mouth of giant black
worm in the center of your universe
They have been torn apart and now are falling out creating existence elsewhere by tearing yours apart
They have cursed you to kill yourself
They have given you to evil.
They force my mouth to me tell you
Enslaved my hand to hold the mirror of your undoing
They have  given me the evil eye
and made me swallow it to
burn me out as I speak your doom

by your own hand you die and live
by your own heart you will be loved
by your own hate you will hearth
by your own frost you will have lost

The snake shadows are fucking you.
And soon dear, they’ll fuck you dead.
I am the sibyl you do not kill; I’m already beheaded.
I am the dove on the wind of the wilderness
Suffocated with honey and locust
Heed my dead song – only you can save yourself
Only you can love the shadows
out or beat the blood lust to dust

Nostalgia for War and Peace

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Annieepoetry

I get it.  It was a simpler time

A sweeter time for rivers and old trucks

and tongue flicks

Or it was the music

Or maybe we are magnets

and memory aligns us back

to the crystal structure we were before

I’m not sure.  It doesn’t make sense to me

I’m aware of my ignorance.   I don’t need

everything to fit into hard little rows

It doesn’t have to be simple or straight for me

to swallow it whole and let it keep my stomach warm and new

I love winter. There I said it.  I love the cold, the snow

The bundling up with sweaters and blankets

I love hot beverages and rums and scotches

I love cedar in the swamp toppled with clean white snow

And hot steam from my mouth when I breathe out

In steam visions, touching your cheek

As my feet make a trail along a…

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Nostalgia for War and Peace

I get it.  It was a simpler time

A sweeter time for rivers and old trucks

and tongue flicks

 

Or it was the music

Or maybe we are magnets

and memory aligns us back

to the crystal structure we were before

I’m not sure.  It doesn’t make sense to me

I’m aware of my ignorance.   I don’t need

everything to fit into hard little rows

 

It doesn’t have to be simple or straight for me

to swallow it whole and let it keep my stomach warm and new

 

I love winter. There I said it.  I love the cold, the snow

The bundling up with sweaters and blankets

I love hot beverages and rums and scotches

I love cedar in the swamp toppled with clean white snow

And hot steam from my mouth when I breathe out

In steam visions, touching your cheek

As my feet make a trail along a doe’s path

Over the creek into the meadow under the apple tree

Pausing to breathe and breathe, happy and sad

I like feeling the relief when I step into a warm home, when I stomp my feet and take off my boots and scarf and hat and coat, the hot fluster on my cheeks. And then smelling the wood burning fire,  the chimney puffing up

like my heart for you and our world

I love you.  I can’t help it.  It’s the music.  The step.  The waves.  The past or the future

It doesn’t matter.  But its here. It hangs on.

It doesn’t leave.  It isn’t sick or destructive

not disparate  or selfish.  It doesn’t hurt.

Its not a spring flower, nor a brown crumpled leaf.

It’s a rustic road that runs up north along lake Michigan and never seems to end

That leads to lake superior and cools all the fear out.

 

You can’t own or  fight it. There is no need.    Its here, in my poetry

These silent odes, from an old fat human woman

who is learning to walk soft and dream expansive peace

I don’t want to go to war.  But the war is here too.

So now I dream we are holding hands, like little laughing children

Who have not learned to hate or mistrust.

I am transforming myself.

I am focusing my intentions on life. I am forever restarting with me.

I am learning to live free of ego and hate.

I am eating the fear and panic one breath at a time.

It will take times.  There is times for you to learn too.

 

Put your ear on my heart, I am alive with you.  What more could we ask for?

 

[AL1]

In time

We were walking on the shore of lake Michigan, wet and hot
the smell of fish and sand hung strong in the crisp air. You grabbed me and kissed me, squeezed
my breasts, lifted my shirt, exposing my breasts on the dock as an old man in a fishing boat watched.
I pointed at him and we ran away giggling to our friends house where we sang and drank ale.

And I was in love, with you
And with myself
For first time

Dizzy and happy and full of energy
High on being alive in our bodies
Young and brimming with expectations of greatness and wild wondrous success

Eager to earn it and to lose it and fight for it.

For all of it, not settling for damn thing, no regrets, just push push push and play play play
That’s the way we were

That’s how we are now
Because it works works works
To create the life we want

Is there a point to pain?

No. There is not.

Sometimes it hurts so bad we growl out feral death wishes and sometimes it feels like we are soaring fast and high
Invincible to harm or sadness

Happiness doesn’t need sadness or the pain. We would stay joyous and free if we could, forever

But we can’t. That doesn’t make hurt heroic. If someone trys to tell you otherwise, tell them to go fuck their self

From the rest of us